Things are not good right now. That is the best way I know how to describe what things are currently like. I wish that I knew how to change them back to being good or being peaceful, but I just don’t know how to do that right now. Not thinking about the bad stuff is helping a bit even though it makes me feel like I’m just avoiding problems. But maybe I’m not avoiding my problems. More and more I feel as though the walls I’m butting my head against just aren’t going to move—these are not walls but crazy undersea mountains that are miles high—and the best thing to do right now is to just stop thinking.
So I’m going to do other things that don’t involve the people or things that are making me feel so bad. I am going to try really hard to write more—jotting down words or phrases in my notebook shouldn’t count. If I have an idea, I should take the time to make something of it.
Last night I even cooked for myself and it wasn’t half bad. I’m not a particularly skilled cook so perhaps this shall be the first entry in a new photo series.
Not-A-Bad-Meal #1: Spanish Rice, Sausage, Green Beans
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