Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: cambridge, music, obsessions, pointless pictures
I’m not much of a photographer, but I can’t stop looking at the sky in Cambridge. I’ve never seen clouds and light behave so oddly, and what’s more, it’s strangely not time specific. This is how the sky looks at eight in the morning, or six in the afternoon, or at nine just as it’s getting dark. I’ve started to walk around here with my head constantly tilted up.
More stuff I’m doing with my first day free from classes: reading To The Lighthouse, catching up on my email, not getting dressed, maybe going shopping later. I discovered this awesome song by Karen O (of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs) in a commercial. Okay, it’s a pretty good commercial—it’s Spike Jones for Adidas—but still! I’ve upset the natural order of things; aren’t I supposed to love the song, see the commercial, and then bitch to my friends about selling out? I can’t really, the song is too pretty and I’m so glad I found it.
Adidas Commercial by Spike Jones. Music by Karen O.
Well I was definitely right. I will definitely not be updating every day anymore. I’m in Cambridge and all I can think about is how much I want to be home. How much I want to be at my friend Max’s house, curled up and happily drunk on the couch or in bed, sprawled out and elbowing the people I love and listening to music or watching truly stupid movies. This place is lovely but this is not the summer to be here.
I’ve been listening to Beach House lately; a bus took me from London to Cambridge on Sunday and all the while I watched the streets and churches and rivers and museums and houses go by while listening to this dream. I tried at one point to switch the music, to listen to Beirut in fact. Something that felt like Old World Europe, something that felt fantastic but grounded, earthy. It didn’t work. That isn’t what I need at all right now, I want nothing but fantasy. I spend my days walking this beautiful city, with its cobblestone streets and history, with its fields and river and spires that are a burnished gold in the midday sun (and it’s always sunny here for now), and I narrate my life to those who are absent.
There’s this place in my head right now, a sort of Baltimore/New York hybrid, where I walk around all day, alone and feeling safe and warm in my loneliness. It feels good to be alone in this place, to be secure in my need for solitude, to be content in myself. The streets aren’t as pretty as they are here, people are stranger, everything is the wrong type of old and the wrong type of new. It feels nice to be there, this place where Beach House plays and I give myself permission to create fantasies for myself, waiting for me, when I slip into bed at night.
The climb to my room in Cambridge.
The trip to the Telectroscope.
Where I am versus where I want to be right now.
Just a Friend – Biz Markie
baby you got what I need
Well, I’m breaking my sacred vow again and going back to Baltimore this weekend. And in Baltimore we have opportunities for socializing, drinking, and dancing. But limited internet access. So long, blog. I’m off to party with these guys.
You can burn your paper fingers in the ashtray
Place your swollen lips on mine
You can shave your heavy head in my carpeted hallway
Sure for the first time you’re wearing the right clothes
Now take them off
Meet me on the band room rug
Tie my right hand to the ride
You can take a live wire into the bath with you
For a feeling you can’t find
You can entertain your childhood friends with a tour of the bedroom
Laugh to erase the dirt on your mind
Oh let’s move out
Meet me at the motel
Tie my right hand to the bible
Too little too late but we can’t say no
It’s too much to feel
Tie my right hand to the bible